Everyone goes through changes. The more decades you have behind you the better chance you have multiple versions of yourself.
I've been lucky to lead an eventful life with multiple careers and travel to some very cool places. And along the way I have met a LOT of people.
My friendships extend back to childhood, through my professional life and into parenthood.
But there are two groups of people I would love to introduce to each other. They sit on either side of a major schism in my life.
The giant divide is my illness. On one side you have the Before friends sympathetically waving at the lot of After friends.
This post is for the Afters.
It's just passing 13 years since that first sign of weakness in my left bicep. It was something small. Insignificant. Annoying.
These days my body is withered but my spirit is solid despite everything I've endured.
But I think it's fair to say if you ask any of those Befores about me I think they would respond with incredulity.
“That guy? He was a spaz. Could hardly stand still.”1
And it's 100% true. I always had a battery. I loved to do stuff. Many times it was to my detriment as I always moved forward, even though I probably should have been pumping the brakes.
No time to stop and smell anything.
I was fit for most of my life. I was handy around the house. I loved working in the yard. I loved being outside.
Music was a massive part of my life. Especially playing the drums. Nothing better at releasing your frustrations than pounding out a rocking song.
I took pride in my work. As a trainer, I was a natural in front of the classroom, receiving positive feedback from clients and colleagues. I worked hard on my craft. I taught myself to slow my speaking down to deliver content more effectively.
Then I was hired to run my own practice. My career was progressing further than I had ever imagined. Especially for a kid from Florida trailer park.
And then I became a father! Two perfect little dudes I couldn't wait to play with and take amazing places and shower them with hugs and kisses.
This is where I met many of the Afters. Although they could be additionally classified as the Durings because they were there helping me and hurting with me throughout this whole downward slide.
Perhaps this is why I want them to meet my Before self. I want to physically help them the way they helped me. Tying my sons’ shoelaces before the baseball game. Placing a bite of food or guiding the straw into my mouth. Putting together furniture. Running errands. So many favors.
I also would love to be out there in the world with you sharing new adventures together. Regrets aren’t something I collect, but this is one.
And finally I'm sorry to the Afters for getting the bum deal of watching a friend go through this. You Befores as well.
I’m fortunate you’re both here. No matter what side of the divide you’re on
Any of my old friends can feel free to chime in on the comments
I didn’t know there was a status higher than Marriott Lifetime Titanium Elite, but being a Before tops it. The first week we met, you not only set the lifetime standard for how to treat people at work, but you also introduced me to Hooters! Love you Robert.
I suspect we weren't meant to be "Befores" because the world couldn't handle that kind of good time trouble. However, I'm grateful to be an After. Your insight, wisdom and of course witty humor is such a gift.